Doin' more work

The Big Dog keepin it real moving a truck full of stolen rocks to the top secret, undisclosed training location.

It is all part of the Rocky Balboa-style old skool fitness program primarily designed to make my back and hamstrings sore.

FBD

Pool Update

Hot off the pool deck - an exciting new addition to the crew: Jump Rope Guy. I doubt anyone could ever displace Dry Hair Guy as my favorite pool character, but Jump Rope Guy is giving him a good run for his money. How? Well, for starters, he was, as you might guess, jumping rope on the pool deck. But wait - there's more. He also seems to share the FBD's incredible aversion to the sun, so he was stylishly clad in a t-shirt do rag, some type of burhka contraption and the scuba diving boots shown here. Yes, it was quite a look.

This entire situation was quite odd, even for a pool, which is all know are magnets for those losing their grip on reality. First of all, if one is concerned about sun exposure, I believe jumping rope is one of those exercises that can very successfully be executed inside. Taking this one step further, if you ARE going to do it outside, why on the pool deck? He never actually entered the water, so it's not as though this was some type of top secret jump rope/swim brick that's all the rage somewhere.

I DESPERATELY wanted to get a pic of the rope wrkt, but alas, the camera was stashed in the locker, so you're just going to have to take my word for it.

I love the pool.

FBD

Quotables

Lots of activity in SBS, both physical and verbal.

For starters, the response to this blog has been overwhelming. My favorite comment?
"Creating a blog is about as easy as producing your own urine...and you're about as likely to find someone else interested in it."
I think that just about says it all. Undaunted, I continue to charge forward, as there are too many significant events unfolding to abstain from commentary.

Next, from a teammate trying to find something in his garage for the FBD, he noted, "Don't worry, I'm a dude, I can find stuff." Word. Dudes find stuff.

And last, but certainly not least, as I was loading my groceries yesterday, another teammate noticed a cute girl loading watermelons into her car. Unable to resist, he commented, "Nice melons." Comments like this either get you killed or laid in PHL, but out here is SBS it was simply taken in the jovial spirit in which it was intended and everyone went on with their lives without any violence or nudity, or any combination of the two.

I desperately wanted a photo of this encounter, as not only is a picture worth a thousand words, but everyone loves cute girls with nice melons, even if they are out of view. Alas, the melon girl was a speedy one and she was loaded and driving before I could respond.

FBD

MSYUD - Minimum Safe Youth Urination Distance

As anyone who has even looked into a public pool in the summer can attest, they are usually crawling with kids of all ages and widely varying states of bladder control, therein raising the compelling question, just how far to I need to be from the problem pool urinators to be safe?

I pondered this question in great detail the other day, but since I was actually IN the pool during this period of contemplation, the only research tools I had at my disposal was my overactive imagination. I therefore concluded that since I had no choice other than to not swim (not really an option), I would be fine, as public health ordinances undoubtedly have taken care of this, right?

Wrong. Literally the next day, I found this in the paper of record: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/16/health/16water.html?em It turns out I was on the right track, but the wrong orifice.

FBD

Rollin, rollin, rollin

Yet another nice thing about SBS. Out here, no one even things twice about this. In Philly, you might as well be from the moon.

In the interest of full disclosure, the fact that I was in only a purple Speedo and out with a biathlon gun didn't help though.

FBD

The more things change....

In some ways, training in SBS is night and day from PHL, as is incredibly obvious here from the shot of the parking lot at the pool. The lot is literally adjacent to a beautiful mountain stream, whereas in PHL, the lot is adjacent to several places to buy crack. Seriously.


In many other ways, a pool is a pool. For example, while "Dry Hair Guy" is conspicuously absent in SBS, he has several relatives who are alive, well and actively taking up valuable pool space.

Today's highlight was "Sun Glasses Guy." Certainly nothing is wrong w/ sun glasses, but most serious swimmers usually don't wear them while they are actually in the water. That's right, not goggles, but sun glasses, complete w/ the homemade shoe string tether, which is a nice touch. What type of protection this offered, I have no idea, though it was quite a look. I cannot even imagine how annoying it must be to swim wearing sun glasses.

Another feature which I am now convinced is common to pools worldwide is the noise level attained any time children are involved. Anyone even CONSIDERING having children need only spent 30 seconds at any pool and you decision will be cemented for life. I personally gave myself a vasectomy in the truck on the way home w/ a ball point pen (no pun intended).


Don't even get me started on their presence in the lockerroom...

FBD

Sky fire

What is that hot ball of fire in the sky? This hasn't been seen in weeks. Time to bust out the purple Speedo for the mtb ride.

FBD

Foxy

In Philly, these guys would have been killed and/or eaten within hrs.

Let the countdown begin

Triathlon, schmiathlon, as this homemade sign in SBS's best burrito place very nicely points out, ski season is just around the corner.

Focus people, focus.

FBD

FastBigDog Hunting

I'm pretty sure this article was written with me in mind: http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/06/08/the-outing-of-publius/

We're only three days in and already the buzz on the street is unbelievable.

FBD

How to win friends and influence people

Buy this truck.

Slay the ladies with the ultimate ride. Four wheel drive. Four wheels. Ski pole shift level. Steez to burn.

Why ride a bike for errands when you can drive an 8 mpg 80's classic?

FBD

Eventful Flight, part 4

Well, I called it, my bike was lost. Nice job United Airlines. And thank you, that was well worth $85.

All around nice work today, actually. Five + hours to go from GEG to DIA (w/ a bonus stop in COS), followed by an absolute Gong Show in DIA, complete w/ broken/inaccurate flight status monitors, panicked travelers and the always plentiful pissed-off employees.

Back at the Top Secret FBD Bat Cave for some longevity therapy. C. M. Burns just left, so I have the place to myself.

FBD

Eventful Flight, part 3

It would have been waaaaay to easy to simply land on time, get a well-deserved $18 sandwich and leave on scheduled. Oh no.

Instead, my Vietnam tiger cage and I got to circle DIA, then divert to Colorado Springs, as we became low on fuel.

So I've now missed my connect and lost 15 lbs from sweating in a plane United very considerately refuses to cool while we sit on the ground.

This is worse than racing.

Hot FBD

Eventful Flight, part 1

In a horrible twist of irony, after being forced to pay $85 for my bike to presumably accompany me on my flight, I then had the good fortune to be seated next to someone on my taxi-sized airplane who clearly weighed more than my bike and I combined. Where is the justice in this?

Additionally, my bike did not require a seat belt extender or have its fat, sweaty umbrella stand-like arms all over some poor, unsuspecting soul for the entire flight. No, I'm fairly sure it just sat there quietly, minding its own business, wondering why it was on its way to Dallas when its beloved owner was going to Denver and why the baggage handler was insistent on trying to bend its derailleur hanger by repeatedly smashing it about.

The aircraft cabin is also the approximate dimensions of a phone booth and a balmy 110 degrees.

I would also like to point out that I am not the first to suffer this grave injustice. I happen to have first hand knowledge of a road pro who was forced to suffer this exact same indignity.

I have come to the conclusion that the world simply is not a fair place.

FBD

Eventful Flight, part 2

No, we were not crashing, though if we were I can assure both of you readers out there (I count myself as a reader), that I would document the entire process in excruciating detail, as that is the level of commitment I have to this process

If this photograph was at all legible, you would see that it is in fact a lady wearing a mask and gloves on the plane. Don't get me wrong, I'm no fan of getting sneezed on in the germ-incubators that are today's aircrafts (is anybody?) and I've been known to ride my mt bike for 4 hrs clad only in a purple Speedo, but even I draw the line here.

God I can't wait to get off this plane. And I still have one more flight. Better scan the papers tomorrow for articles about air rage, as it feels like we have just about all of the necessary ingredients.

Tired FBD

Race Damage

Last piece of info on this - here is a nice shot of the knot on my head from my collision in my swim "warm-up.". The water was 52, so warm-up is a very relative term.

It should be noted that there were 3-5 ft swells on the lake, so if you were in a trough (yes, like a pig), you literally couldn't see 2 ft in front of you. Only I could crash on the swim.

Oh yeah, I also crashed on the run.

FBD

Other race highlights

In addition to offering to sell me weed (I of course accepted, as nothing goes better with a lung-busting 3 hour race than gas station pot), this nice young man informed me that this classic shirt was for sale in that exact gas station. What luck.

So since Fathers Day is right around the corner, get that shopping out of the way early. The top secret location of this particular Quik-Mart is the corner of Rt 54 and 95 in Bayview, ID.

I swear you can't make this stuff up.
FBD

The enemy

Geoff Kabush might be able to weasel his way past these people, but I took his advice, smiled (which almost killed me) and did everything short of proposing, but no luck. Jacked. $85 dollaradeedos for what Fed-Ex would do for $32. Literally. As if airline travel wasn't bad enough. Those spoiled World Cup guys have all the luck.

FBD

The contentious issue

Travel Day

Since no one but me really cares about my race results, I'll keep it brief; swim was long and rough, bike was fast, run was endless and I did well.

On to the important stuff; apparently the Ohio Turnpike isn't the only road curses with the idiotic phenomena of drivers parked in the left lane. This is a PASSING lane people, this isn't that hard.

After doing battle with a surprising volume and stupidity level of traffic, it was off to do battle with the airlines.

Great races, eh?

For all of you cartographers out there, what do Xterra Midwest Cup and the Xterra NorthWest Cup have in common? That's right, they are each less than 100 miles from are brothers in the Great White North.

Why does this matter? I'm not sure it does other than the fact that when I tell the girl bartenders here at dinner that I am a Canadian logger, everyone thinks it is hysterical, as I am currently clad in a Burberry polo shirt, khakis, navy blazer and monocle.

I also make everyone address me as, "The Colonel."

FBD

Blog - Day 2

Overcoming incredible odds and lackluster fan response, I somehow have not yet lost interest in this project.

Part of this is because my spirits have been buoyed by the cheerful breakfast (breakie) girl shown here, Christie, who very thoughtfully agreed to switch the hotel breakie schedule around to accommodate my traditional pre-race meal (vodka, grape juice and baked beans).

In PHL, requests of this nature are met with reactions ranging from disgust to overt anger. And a thorough spit-soaking of all of your future meals.

FBD

I even drove through Hayden (inside joke for you SBS people)

A roller coaster of a day

And I got wood.

Then I saw the course.

Driving to the course sucked though - the traffic felt like PHL.

Then Mike, cool 24 hour racer guy fixed it. And there was much rejoicing.

Eventful day

Had bottom bracket catastropy. Pretty girl at bike shop told me everything would be okay.

Tragedy Strikes

Anyone who knows the Big Dog knows he's not a big fan of germs and I am therefore very disappointed to report that in transit to the race in ID, I had a vitamin bottle mishap with not only the vitamins making an all out escape into the freedom of the suitcase, but a disappointing number made their way inside of my cycling shoes. Since the FBD cycling shoes smell just about like any other pair of cycling shoes, the thought of eating something which has resided in them for an extended time is not all that appealing.

Breakie

My cool Aussie buddies taught me that expression for breakfast and I like it. Gotta love the Aussies.

Big plans today: breakie, bike build, course preview, lake swim and Red Wings game. Should be quite a day.

FBD

The Dog is on the Net

It's official - after years of resistance, I have acquiesced and decided to give the people what they want, more Dog, more often. The Twitter posts, though beloved, just weren't enough for my dozens of fans, so you asked for it and now you got it.

Plus, the FBD is way too verbose for the creativity-stifling Twitter 140 character limit. So get ready for some rambling....